Spain – The land of Mullets and Thieves
Well I really loved Spain. However the distinct lack of self respect from the people in the areas through hair style sense – particularly the 33-50% of Spaniards that thought a “Mullet” was cool dragged my opinion of them down considerably. It was like a bad bad dream – more like a nightmare. What are they thinking..? And it was not just the men (although they were by far the worse offenders) it was also the women, who for some reason thought they looked hot with a mullet. WRONG. It makes me sick just thinking about it again.. I think I’m going to need therapy to get over all those filthy mullets fully..
And to further lower my opinion, whilst visiting Spain, I was robbed.. TWICE.. I’ve been to some pretty dodgy places this year, and until Spain have never had this kind of problem… Really disappointing because Spain was such a great country, and if it wasn’t for all the Mullets and Thieves I encountered, I would have said it was one of the best countries in Europe. Unfortunately I was left feeling angry (rubbed off from all those angry mullets most likely) and dismayed (from being robbed, not once but twice in the space of a few weeks)..
So for me, if you could somehow manage to sedate all those angry mullets and take to them with a set of clippers while they were under, and if the Spanish police actually did something to try and reduce crime, instead of beating up on tourists, Spain would have been one of my favourite places. And yes, you heard me right. I was told about two tourists who were mucking around on the streets of Barcelona. They were maybe causing a bit of a public nuisance, but were in no was causing any harm to anyone. Within a few minuets, two police rocked up, and within a few more minuets a van with a whole bunch of heavy military type police arrived and surrounded the two. By this point the tourists stopped messing around and waited to discuss the problem with the police. Next from behind one of the heavies, without warning took to the two with their police batons, which started a frenzy of blows, punches and kicks from all of them until the sorry tourists were a bloody mess on the ground. So the police had done what they could to diffuse the situation and packed themselves back into their van and disappeared. Well done. Pricks.
Ok, so on some positive points for Spain, there were some fantastic cities.. There were some fantastic tapas bars, and there were some great stretches of coast to relax on. Another highlight for my visit to Spain was spending time in the madness of Ibiza.. Check out ‘Part 5’ of A Holiday Survival Guide for more.
I was also lucky enough to make it to the Tomatina Festival which was possibly one of the best things I’ve done this year.. The Tomatina Festival is the world’s largest Tomato Fight. As you stand knee deep in tomatoes in the streets where it takes place with about twenty thousand other tomato lovers, you gain a new found appreciation for food. Apart from having my wallet relieved from my zipped-up security pocket (for the second time in the few weeks in this visit to Spain), it would have been a totally incredible experience. Sitting in the police station to make my report that afternoon, it was clear that I was not the only target for the day. GO GET A JOB YOU WANKERS..!!